Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Blood and glitter go together right?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
