I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize