I heard we made out
I'm lost and stupid without you.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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