My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
