need another drink. this is the easiest way
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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