I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
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