ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Randomize
