Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
