Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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