i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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