Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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