I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
