i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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