The police scanner is talking about you again....
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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