I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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