He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
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