Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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