i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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