Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
She bit a glass in half.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
