All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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