I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
