is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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