Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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