does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
