what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
