she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
