I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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