We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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