Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
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