Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Buhtt sex?
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize