She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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