It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Randomize