Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
