I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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