She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize