i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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