nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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