We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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