Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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