the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
50% drunk capacity currently
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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