i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
