ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
