Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
