I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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