I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
