eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
