I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
