I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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