she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
