My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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