I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize