never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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