I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
