I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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