FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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