Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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