Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
