me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
You did what with his pubic hair?
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