Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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