this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
