He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
