Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
