goodnight i made you a song goodbye
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
