No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
