Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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