Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Randomize